My Grief Journey Two Years In

black dog with food toy standing over dog bed

Written by Kate LaSala

Dog Training | Pet Loss & Grieving | Rescue Dogs

Barbo, BooBoo, death doula, end of life doula, Fearful dog, foster dog, fostering, free treats in honor of booboo, grief journey, grief resources, Online training, personal, pet grief, pet loss grief, Remote training, Rescue dog, senior dogs, Shelter dog

April 13, 2026

 

I recently submitted a two year update on losing Boo to The Pet Loss Companion and I wanted to share a bit more here. Last week marked two years without BooBoo. This two year mark feels unfathomable, like it’s impossible she’s been gone for that long. Time feels so different since she died. Some days it feels like a blur, almost like a car crash happening right before my eyes, while other days and weeks just crawl so slowly that Monday morning feels like it should be Friday evening already. The world is markedly different since she left, in big and small ways. But seasons change and big dates, anniversaries, birthdays and holidays remind me of time passing. I really struggle with remembering how long ago things happened. Everything feels so warped now and I find myself having to consciously work out how long something happened in relation to something else so that I can put it in the right timeline. For someone who has always had a solid memory, never needed to do lists and was never forgetful, this has been upsetting. I’ve said it feels like early onset dementia in ways. But then I read The Grieving Brain and realized, it was just normal grief brain. That helped ease my worry, a bit.

Facebook memories popping up every day are a blessing and a curse. I usually smile at the memories but I’m also shocked at how much time has passed, not just since her death but since those early memories. I see her youthful face with no grey. I see uncertainty on her face in those early days where she was still so unsure of the world. And I see complete happiness as she learned safety, trust, security and bravery. In me, I see utter happiness like I’ve never experienced before, a fullness and purpose that filled me every day with joy.

A few months ago I finished the first draft of my memoir of my story of Boo and our life together. I still have no idea what will come of this memoir, if anything. And I mostly wanted to write it for my own preservation of our timeline together and memories of life with Boo. As I get older and my memory fades, I wanted to have everything documented to look back on, to relive those precious, beautiful parts of my life. One of my fears in grief was forgetting Boo, forgetting our memories and our time together, forgetting the little things she did that made me laugh, so this memoir is a way to document those things and preserve them. My husband jokes I’ll be telling the story of her running away off the transport van when I’m in a nursing home. And, I hope he’s right. I hope I remember that story when I’m that old.

Grief can feel incredibly lonely and inexplicably heavy at times, even two years into it. Or maybe especially two years into it, because people stop showing up, stop asking how you’re doing, stop talking about her. There are still days, that even though I’m so happy we have Gertie in our lives (we recently celebrated her one year Gotcha Day!) that I still have overwhelming sadness missing Boo. Two years into the loss of a dog, most people do not understand that I’m not “over it” so I mostly just bottle it up and don’t talk about it. Finding support and understanding is hard. People naturally think I’ve “moved on” because we adopted Gertie. I still talk about Boo when I can but those moments are more fleeting than they used to be but when I can, I find it helps keep her alive. That was another reason for working on the memoir. Writing her story, if I can get it out there somehow, is another way to share her with the world, like I did when I shared a brief version of our story on The Pet Loss Companion Podcast shortly after she died.

One of my ongoing struggles is to not compare our new dog Gertie to Boo all the time. To aid this, I’ve made a deliberate effort to do things with Gertie that I never did with Boo or visit places or trails that we never did while Boo was alive. A few months ago Gertie got her AKC Trick Dog Novice title and her Novice Therapy Dog title, neither of which Boo ever did. The picture at the top of this post is Boo and her emptied Toppl was another of those “Boo isn’t Gertie” moments. Boo wouldn’t touch anything that wasn’t meat or dairy, which is why in the picture she’s surgically extracted all of the mixed veggies from her food and looked so happy about it. “Hey look what I did, mom! Nice try sneaking those healthy things in my food! I showed you!”  This picture came across my memories recently and I just laughed. In contrast, we haven’t found anything Gertie won’t eat. Celery. Check. Romaine lettuce. Check. Citrus. Check. Cilantro. Check. Her flea and heartworm preventative. Check and check!

Ironically though, all this effort is yet another reminder Boo is gone, because I wouldn’t be doing these things with Gertie if Boo was still here. So it’s a double-edged sword of sorts. I enjoy doing these activities with Gertie but that doesn’t mean I also don’t wish I could have Boo here still. Once again, a reminder that joy and sadness can co-exist and that grief can co-exist with new love and new experiences. I can both love Gertie and miss Boo at the same time. It seems so simple, but it’s taken me almost two years to realize this. Loving Gertie doesn’t cancel out my love for Boo. It doesn’t mean I love Boo less.

two older women sitting, petting a dog in a holiday sweaterGertie and I continue to do our therapy dog visits, mostly visiting assisted living and rehab centers, and we’re frequent enough that we now have our regulars that we visit, including our new friend Ann in the red coat here. We see her almost weekly when my schedule allows. It’s so heartwarming to see the people we visit smile as they pet Gertie. Sometimes they’ll share with me about their previous dogs and many have pictures hung on their room walls of animals gone by. Therapy work can be heartbreaking at time to see people in various states of emotional and physical decline, but it’s such a balm to bring Gertie and see them smile or perk up, even just for a few minutes.

We continue to foster and I have to say, Gertie is the best foster sister. We’ve now had 77 fosters, including a few really tough ones. One of our recent ones, Millie, was labeled “feral” by the shelter because her and the other 12 dogs she came in with had all lived outside with no socialization and they were terrified of life. Millie spent 6 days pancaked to the floor of her kennel before we took her to foster and within a very short window, she began to blossom. She reminded me a lot of Boo when she first came to us and I was pretty smitten. She spent two weeks with us and then went into a trial adoption and eventually got adopted by a family with kids. They love her and she looks pretty happy herself! It’s dogs like this that remind me why fostering is so important. Yes, it’s not alway convenient or even fun, but it’s critical to helping keep the wheels of animal rescue moving. Want to see Milly’s transformation? Watch my video here. And if you’re curious about fostering, check out my Fostering 101 course.

Thanks for reading, and sticking with me through after losing Boo. Remember, as part of my doula and pet loss grief companion services, I’ve got these resources:

If you’ve missed my previous grief posts:

If you are preparing for the loss of your own dog, remember I offer my doula and pet loss grief companion services here. And of course I’m here for any of your training needs or you can book my special consult if you’re considering behavioral euthanasia.

Give your pups some extra treats from me and BooBoo, for free…don’t make them work for it, in honor of her. If you record it, please share it with me! Free Treats In Honor Of BooBoo!

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