My doula work has become a bigger and part of my clients in the last year or so. And one of the topics that comes up if a person has an animal that is ailing but not quite terminal yet, is whether to do a bucket list. If you’re not familiar with the idea of an animal bucket list, it’s the concept that we do a bunch of amazing things with the animal, maybe for their first, (and last time). Some people may take their dog to the beach if they’ve never been, or in our case, we took Barbo to the beach before we said goodbye, because it was a favorite place to go.
I’ve created a Bucket List Thoughts for you to download so you can read through some ideas and decide if this might be something you want to do for you and your beloved. Grab it here.
We did a version of a bucket list with both Barbo and BooBoo before we said goodbye, but not everyone has the luxury of doing so. Some animals pass away suddenly or need to be rushed to the ER and there’s no time to do a bucket list. And for others who are terminal, they may not be feeling up to lots of adventure, so it’s important to ask yourself, what would your dog enjoy most, not what do you want to do with them. It’s an important distinction, because those answers might be very different. We need to consider your pet’s energy level, stamina, and comfort level before engaging in activities for a bucket list.
For example, for dogs with low appetites or who are lethargic, or who don’t enjoy car rides, their bucket lists will look very different than dogs who are still eating and love car rides.That doesn’t mean we can’t or shouldn’t do anything but we should tailor the bucket list to the dog in front of us now. This may mean a beach trip but not one where Fido is running around but we keep it low-key and sit on a blanket in the sand for a bit and just take inthe sights and smells and memories of that special spot.
I love the idea of a bucket list and giving your dog a couple of really amazing last days. Doing a bucket list for your beloved helps you know you made their last days as amazing as possible and also gives you some long-lasting happy, positive memories to cherish.
But, and this is important, I also want you to know that if you can’t or don’t want to do a bucket list, that’s completely fine too! There’s gobs of social media videos of amazing last days and while these videos are beautiful in their own way, they also imply that’s what we should be doing. You, or your animal, may not be up to adventure, so please give yourself permission to skip it entirely if it doesn’t feel supportive to you.
Honestly the best time to live out a wonderful bucket list is RIGHT NOW. Do it before your dog gets terminal. Do it while they are healthy and enjoy those beautiful moments and memories. But many people don’t think about end-of-life until it slaps us in the face. And,that’s OK! If you want to do it, we can still make a wonderful list that is right for your animal’s current state, and not regret the things you missed the chance to do.
The most important thing to remember is that you and your dog are spending time together during these final days, weeks and months. If your pet is too sick or disabled to safely and comfortably participate in something then skip it or modify it.
A bucket list should be celebratory and never a source of stress, guilt or that we’re not doing enough.
Cherish these moments.
Download my Bucket List Guide. You can grab it here.
I’m so sorry for your impending loss and am here to support you. I can help you through my doula services if you need quality of life assessment, emotional support or guidance in any way for your pet loss journey. You can schedule a session here!
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