Ways To Memorialize Your Beloved Companion Animal

Doulas can provide a broad scope of services but my focus for death doula work is companioning through anticipatory grief (that period before your beloved animal dies but when you know it’s coming), proactive planning and helping clients navigate stigmatized losses like behavioral euthanasia, rehoming or surrendering, where it can be hard to find non-judgmental support, especially in the age of social media.

A common struggle guardians have is how they’re going to continue regular life after their beloved happens. One of the best ways to honor your loss is to come up with ways to memorize and remember them. And there are so many ways we can do this! A doula can help you figure out how and the best way you want to memorialize your animal, and if there are kids in the family, how we can include them in this process also.

Boo mini (WoollyEmily/Etsy) with felted heart from her fur (SaltyHeart808/Etsy)and cremation ring (Sugarberry Memorials)

In my own grief journey, I found it so healing to find ways to keep BooBoo near me in my daily life. Before Boo passed, we did an end-of-life photoshoot, and several of those images now hang on canvases around our home, intermingled with pictures from the other 13 years of life we shared. It reminds me we gave her a beautiful life and a beautiful ending. The Tilly Project – End-of-Life Pet Photography is an organization that has a directory of photographers who do this special work, often discounted or even for free.

My biggest purchase was a beautiful ring, made by Sugarberry Memorials Cremation Jewelry, that has some of Boo’s and Barbo’s cremation ashes in the gemstones. I wear it everyday, and often find myself touching it for comfort or when I think about them. On my desk sits a Custom felted mini (about 5″ tall) of BooBoo, so she’s still with me when I’m working and doing my client sessions, like she always was. You can see a short video here of her. It’s the perfect size and is adorable and comforting. I also had a Felted Heart, made with your pet’s fur, and when we hike, I bring it with me. Or when I just want to feel her fur once again, I touch it. It’s made from the undercoat of her fur, so if this is something you’d want to do, be sure to brush out some undercoat before your animal is gone. Similarly, we knew we wanted nose prints done, so we had to make sure to order the nose print ink kit ahead of time. Another favorite of mine is an Etsy artist, who creates a Custom Memorial Art Print from your photo and she does an excellent job. I’ve used this as gifts for others, and have one for each Barbo and BooBoo hanging in my office.

Some of Boo’s ashes where she last hiked, about 6 weeks before she died

We have also spread ashes in various special places around the country from both Barbo and Boo including Vermont, North Carolina and Martha’s Vineyard. We took a trip to visit The Dog Chapel at Dog Mountain in northeastern Vermont, close the New Hampshire border, to hang pictures and notes there. The grounds are stunning and the chapel is adorable. There are so many amazing dog sculptures, figures and the stained glass windows are incredible. You can see my little video of our visit here.

Here are some other ideas for memorialization:

You do not need to travel this pet loss journey alone. I can provide education, resources, guidance, emotional and social care, logistical and practical assistance or anything else you need help with, as long as it doesn’t fall into the vet or mental health care realm. When a beloved companion animal is nearing end-of-life, the anxiety, stress and the demands of caregiving can easily become overwhelming, resulting in guilt, depression, fear, self-denial and emotional burnout. A doula can help you navigate all that and be a safe place and a sounding board for you to talk about your beloved and honor them the way you really want to. I can support and guide you through the grief process, from planning, memorializing, honoring and grieving. Whether your loss results from normal aging, an unexpected medical condition, an accident, behavioral euthanasia or any other reason. I can help support you through this. I understand what you’re going through.

Companion animals are family and thinking about or dealing with their loss is often a topic that just isn’t talked about. As a society, we tend not honor pet loss with the same gravity as losing a human. Or we do for a very short time, maybe a matter of weeks, and then we expect the person to just “get over it.” But for many of us, we share a deeper bond with our pets than many humans. We see them more than we see most of our family or friends. We care for and provide every need they have, without speaking the same language. We touch them every day.  This kind of bond rivals the parent/infant relationship in its closeness. You can read the chronicling of my own grief journey about losing BooBoo here.

I maintain a full Grief Resources List here and update it regularly, which includes ideas for memorialization, books I’ve found helpful or that I commonly recommend, podcasts, social media accounts, pet loss counselors and support groups, resources for helping kids and other animals cope with loss and grief and a regional directory of at home euthanasia vets, in addition to national companies.

My ultimate goal as a doula is to support people throughout this difficult and inevitable journey, with a priority in honoring and memorializing the everlasting bond between you and your beloved companion. If you need support, please schedule a session with me here. I am not a licensed therapist, counselor or veterinarian and can only provide non-medical support. 

Wishing you peace during this difficult journey.

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