How To Be A Successful (Dog) Foster Home

Since BooBoo passed away 5 months ago, we’ve been dipping our toes back into fostering. When Barbo and BooBoo were both alive, we did a lot of fostering. As a family, we fostered over 50 dogs and puppies, many of which were fearful. It was early in my dog training career and we were volunteering with some NJ based rescues, including the one that both Barbo and Boo came from. I was still a student at The Academy For Dog Trainers so having lots of “green,” untrained dogs around was helpful for me to practice my basic training skills. But many of these dogs were also fearful and since John and I don’t have kids, and both work from home, we were sort of a perfect home for these fearful pups to decompress. Barbo loved having playmates, since Boo wasn’t a big player and Boo loved having pups to snuggle with. She was an excellent foster mom.

We stopped fostering as they got older and wanted to ensure we were protecting our seniors. Barbo in particular, got a little more cranky with young or super active dogs as he aged. That’s not unusual. It happens a lot during social maturity and as dogs age in general, sometimes related to pain like arthritis. And then Covid hit and rescues didn’t need fosters. Plus I was offering puppy board and train during Covid. (This is not a service I am currently offering.)

But now, we’re back at it. We just returned our fourth foster since Boo’s passing in April. (She was adopted this weekend!) For me, fostering is a way to honor Boo and Barbo in my grief journey, since that’s something we all did together. And, it’s a way to dip my toes into having unfamiliar dogs in the house again to see how that feels for me, which can also be good in my grief journey. And, it gives my husband, John, some much wanted dog time.

As seasoned fosters (our 58th foster, at the time of writing this post, just got adopted this weekend) we’re often faced with comments like the following. I want to address these because comments like these can be deterrents for possible fosters and can be a little unsupportive to existing fosters. So, if you’re considering fostering, you should prepare yourself for comments like these, but please do not let them discourage you!

Here are some example comments and my replies to them.

• I could never foster. I’d want to keep them all./It seems mean to send that dog to another home, now that they are so comfortable with you!/They’re so attached to you. You have to keep them!
  Our main job as a foster is to help the animal learn to feel safe. If we can get a dog to trust humans and feel safe with us, then we know this dog is capable of building that relationship with other humans. We aren’t magical. I may have improved skills in some areas because of my work as a trainer, but fosters aren’t magical beings.
• I don’t know how you give them back. I’d be too sad.
  Is saying goodbye easy? Not always. But, we break our hearts a little with each one, so they have a chance to live and have a wonderful life.
• I love animals too much to give them up.
  We love animals too, that’s why we foster. The thought or projection that someone who doesn’t foster loves dogs more than people who do is just asinine. We love animals so much that we want to see as many of them get good homes as possible and are willing to make small sacrifices and be inconvenienced a little to help make that happen.
• That dog has come so far with you. Don’t you just want to keep them?
  If we adopted them all (or even one or two) then we’re no longer available to foster and can’t help save more. Sure, sometimes foster fails happen but seasoned fosters know they can help save more through fostering than they could every adopt.

Or, because we are currently dogless, sometimes people will tease us with “foster fail” comments, which, at this time, honestly are a little hurtful because my heart just isn’t ready after losing BooBoo. I know it’s coming from a place of concern, because they want to see us with another dog, but commentary or joking about being a foster fail isn’t supportive to families that are fostering.

What many people don’t realize is that fostering is a critical piece of the rescue world. It’s not just a nice thing people do. Fosters are essential for preventing animals from being euthanized due to space and resource limitations. Without fosters, rescues can’t pull at-risk dogs. Without fosters, open-intake, municipal shelters get full and may be faced with having to euthanize for space.

Is it convenient? Not always. Sometimes dogs aren’t fully housebroken, or they’ve never lived in a home before. They often don’t have any reliable basic training and may have some insecurities or fears because of their previous life. But for us, that’s a small sacrifice to give a dog a chance at a better life.

Is saying goodbye easy? Not always. But, we break our hearts a little so they have a chance to live.

So I thought I’d talk a bit about how to be a successful foster home, and maybe encourage a few of you to dip your toes in and to set you and the foster dog up for success.

How To Be A Successful Foster Family

1. Do no harm. This is your number one job as a foster. You’re providing a safe place for them to land. Your job is to show this animal what safety and love is, according to what they need. Not all dogs will want to play, engage, be touched or do the things that you think they should. You must respect where they are in their journey and honor that. And, above everything, never use any aversives, even as mild as raising your voice, using a stern tone or doing the now infamous “eh-eh.” You may not these things are scary but to many dogs, they are. And of course, no leash corrections, dragging the dog if they put the brakes on, yelling, prong, choke, shock or martingales/slips leads that choke the dog. Need tips on how to love a fearful dog? Read that here. Your job is not to train your foster. Of course, you can work on basic things like housetraining, but fosters shouldn’t take on the responsibility or role of a trainer. You can report back to the organization what training the dog still needs to work on, so adopters know what to expect.
2. Take things slowly!  Even the most friendly of dogs can be overwhelmed with moving to a new place, especially if the dog has been bounced around or is coming out of a shelter. Take things slowly. Review my Do’s and Don’ts for Meeting A Dog For The First Time.
3. You’re a stranger! You may be really excited to have this new dog in your home, but you’re a stranger to this dog. Let the dog approach you or invite the dog to engage with you. Don’t just invade their space and start petting and touching them.
4. Provide activities and socialization opportunities, as appropriate. Depending on the animal’s comfort level, you can doing activities and outings. We like to take our fosters out in the world, if they’re up for it, to places like the farmers market, pet stores, parks, trails, meeting neighbors and outdoor dining. This gives us a chance to gather information on how the dog is in the car, out in public, with strangers, with novel places and distractions. Of course, you never want to force anything and if the dog is stressed (watch that body language!), then it’s time to call it quits and go back to a safe place.
5. Manage other pets. Your resident dog might be overwhelmed with all the commotion this new dog is causing, while he’s also trying to navigate sharing his people and stuff. Put away anything that might be a guarded resource. This includes, toys, chews, bones and food bowls (even empty ones). And definitely do not leave them unsupervised at all.
6. Manage children. Kids are going to be excited about a new dog but the foster dog may not be socialized with children or could just be overwhelmed. This is a great opportunity for you to help teach your kids how to appropriately interact with dogs, especially unfamiliar dogs.
7. Use physical barriers. Crates, x-pens and baby gates can separate and create safety around resources like food and toys or keep dogs and kids apart, especially if your child is still learning how to appropriately interact with dogs.
8. Brush up on dog body language and communication. Being familiar with dog stress signs, which can be subtle, can help keep everyone safe and will allow you to quickly recognize and intervene if things get tense or growly during play or interactions with dogs or people.
9. Familiarize yourself with what normal dog play looks like.  Often play can be loud and scary sounding. This video and this one are great examples to really learn about dog play.
10. Put away anything that might be a guarded resource.  This includes, toys, chews, bones and food bowls (even empty ones). And be aware that some dogs will guard spaces, people and resting spots. Tight spaces like hallways, doorways, kitchens where the dog may feel trapped or not have space to turn around to escape can also be areas of tension.
11. Take lots of good pictures and short videos. Once your foster starts to settle in and open up, try to capture lots of pictures and videos that the organization can use for marketing. Videos in Portrait mode can be used for reels so those are going to be better. If you’re up for it, create your own reel or collage to provide so the work is done. I like to set up a public album on FB for each foster and send the link to the foster coordinator or social media person so they can grab media from it. For a recent foster who was really shut down and fearful in the shelter, I made a little before/after video.
12. Write a truthful, catchy bio. Bios can make or break a dog’s chance at adoption. First person bios, written from the dog’s perspective are the preferred approach to bios according to several animal rescue organizations. After spending a few days or weeks with your foster, you can write a bio that highlights their positive personality features, quirks, likes and behavior patterns. No dog is going to be perfect and there may be things you need to convey that are concerning but try to communicate it in an honest, transparent way without being negative. Avoid euphemisms. For instance, with one of our recent fosters it was clear to me that she wouldn’t be a good candidate to live with cats. And she wasn’t a fan of her bath.So when it came to writing her bio I wrote “I was a little nervous when I had to get a bath and once it was over, I was back to my happy, tail wagging self like nothing had happened! Luckily with my easy to maintain, short coat (that doesn’t seem to shed very much!), I probably don’t need very frequent baths but some treats during bath time would help me be less scared.I do like to chase squirrels and birds, so a fenced yard would be best and no kitties for me. Foster mom said I was a little “too interested” in the outside cat I saw on a walk.”This conveys honest information but not in an overly negative way. Here are some resources for writing compelling bios from the ASPCA and Best Friends.
13. Be honest with the organization. If you notice a behavior issue that could be concerning or require additional training, like resource guarding, fear of strangers, separation anxiety, lack of crate training, potty training issues, etc. don’t keep them from the group. It can feel like hiding these issues might help get the dog adopted sooner but lack of transparency in them communicating these things to potential adopters is likely to just get the dog returned once the adopter figures it out. And you don’t want to be part of the problem of rescues and shelters not being transparent. Be honest in your observations so they can make the best match for the dog. Your experience as a foster helps inform the organization about the dog’s personality in a real home, and that is invaluable, even for problematic behavior issues.
14. Compartmentalize, just a little bit. Saying goodbye over and and over can wear on your heart a little. But it helps if you can compartmentalize a bit, and think of fostering as a job in a sense. A very fun job, usually! I think of our role as fosters like we’re a cog in the bigger machine of animal rescue. Without fosters, the machine comes to a screeching halt and can’t operate. And the reward of knowing you playing a part in saving that dog and helping them find happiness and their forever home, outweighs the short sadness of saying goodbye.
15. Wash, rinse, repeat! You can help save way more animals through fostering than you ever could by adopting them. The more fostering you do, the better you get at it. You get processes in place, your family finds a good routine, you learn what to expect and you get better at saying goodbye. My standard goodbye when handing dogs off back to the organization is “OK, bye for now! I hope you have a good life!” It reminds me that we were a step along the road to them finding a good life.
16. Volunteer where you’re valued. I can’t stress this enough. Whatever organization you volunteer and foster with should value you, treat you well, treat the animals well (not use aversives, balanced trainers or outdated methods like pushing alpha/dominance narratives). Fosters are gold to rescues and shelters. Fosters help save lives. If you aren’t being treated well, find a better organization that you feel good about supporting.

Several years ago I did a Facebook LIve Q&A on Fostering. If you’d like to watch it, here it is. In the meantime, if you have questions I didn’t cover here, feel free to reach out. And of course for training inquiries, you can schedule a session here.

Happy fostering and training!